Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The hourglass

The hourglass was flipped yet again in my life and I wondered if by some chance I could live in a way that was meaningful. In a way that made people say oh my I need to believe like she believed I need to strive in the direction she is striving. Is that the way to Christ ok thanks for the directions. This was a very hard place to be because I figured my wonder had not happened I mean who wouldn't. And so I despaired for my loneliness, laziness, stagnancy and most of all my weakness. There's nothing wrong with weakness except for in this case I was weak tapping into my own weakness for strength this was not working. Wrong direction annnnk wrong answer you've lost this round but I was reminded of someone greater higher lovelier in whom I draw my strength my joy and my meaning the person of Jesus Christ. And the hourglass reclaimed my lost hours.

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, July 18, 2009


Sometimes I feel as though man is always trying to get many things, on a constant quest to constanty acquire and I wonder if it is often in the hopes of acquiring something eternal. Maybe this is what it means when it says that He set Eternity in the hearts of man, maybe it means that they will be on a continual journey and quest to reach forever and so they constantly acquire but I want to acquire something greater something that will not be stolen or destroyed with rust or moth eaten and that something is love.

-- Post From My iPhone

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Lifeboat

Without God we all exist on this kind of makeshift lifeboat. Put together with these splintered either given by someone residing on the lifeboat currently or I'll gotten. The lifeboat is not only something so real but it's also a place where man formulates his ideals whether for selfish pursuit of what he wants for himself or dare I say it selfish goal he wants for someone else. The lifeboat is hard to just decide to step away from because it serves as the place where man gets some type of reassurance from peers he actually ascribes to or to those who he does not want to go against.. But then the question what's the difference. Jesus didn't need the lifeboat because His Glory came from God where is your Glory coming from if not all from God what portion can you be almost sure comes from God. The Lifeboat.

-- Post From My iPhone

Monday, July 13, 2009

Metamorphosis & Mystery

Today i saw a butterfly in the most unlikest of places behind a garbage can almost like it was waiting there to reveal itself. It made me think of the mystery of things the hiddeness of things sometimes I like the fact that things are hidden because when they are hdden when they appear it's just it's so mind blowing. To me mystery is necessary because I think if everything was set before I would be bored to death or even worse rebellious because I'd want to see other than what's before me just being honest. I'd be running to see the unseen. It kinda reminds me of the heart the thing we all try to understand but really can't. It's so amazing that God can see our hearts better than we could ever see them it's so like wow the way God judges us on our hearts the intention behind stuff I don't think it's so much on our reaching of perfection or even whether we fail or win at something but the heart or the drive the intention of it all. Like this is all a process a person does not run a maranthon in one try one go but instead trains to reach such potential. It also remind me of the struggle the necessary struggle that a butterfly goes through after it has morphed. That process of it struggling from it's cacoon of helped it's rather harmed. However unlike the butterfly that needs to be unassisted we need community before during around and after the struggle.

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Rescue !!!

When I feel like you're not there I try to act like it doesn't matter and trudge on with my day trying to do it all. Asking for my own encore, clapping at my wins, booing loudly at my losses unlike you who just quietly corrects without condemnation or a weird pride thing, when I'm in a room and no one is there I draw my own imaginations trying to keep my own attention and entertain myself, when I'm with ppl I forget that you're there in the midst. Will you rescue me soon please....

-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, July 10, 2009

Better than Yesterday

Today I've determined to make the most of this day having time for myself enjoying myself and connecting with friends earlier in the morning and doing my work in joy and just having a really great day remembering the love of others such as friends and family and remembering the grace and the mercy and the gift of life and love and such :)

-- Post From My iPhone

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Today happened to be one of those days like many in my life where I had to face one of those hard heart questions. The question was why do I expect from people? Why do I have expectations of people time and time again no matter how many times I've been dissappointed. And my answer was it's because I'm running on the fuel called hope no matter how many times I've been broken hurt or depressed I still press on it's my coping mechanism. If I don't expect because of my hope what then? It's like a rung on a ladder I have rungs hope love faith grace mercy forgiveness expectation because of all those things working if I remove expectation what then will this ladder collapse?

-- Post From My iPhone